The Start of Something New

Tonight I started thinking about accomplishments and how much they really do mean to us throughout out lives. So far I have accomplished many things in my 33 years; I have a marriage that, despite up's, down's, irritations, annoyance's, oh ya, and my husband's OCD, we will be celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary this August. 14 freakin' years!! Now that is an accomplishment! We have an amazing daughter who is bright, loving, and she has a pretty good sense of morals. We have our own home, we welcomed our miracle child into our lives at the end of last year. And, I'll be honest, I didn't think it would ever happen. I mean, after 10 years of waiting and waiting, and losing one baby in 2009, I feel extremely fortunate to have him in our lives.

Another huge accomplishment for me this year has been graduating college, of course I've still got another year to go, but I walked across the stage, they said my name out loud, and that was an accomplishment I did ON MY OWN. In fact, all of these accomplishments I have done ON MY OWN. Okay, well I guess a marriage take two people and so does having two children, but my point is that I have accomplished many great things and even though my life hasn't turned out exactly the way I had imagined it, but, it's mine. And it's happening. And the next 14 year will go on whether or not I make the most of it. The only thing I haven't managed to accomplish is losing weight and managing it effectively.

I look at all of my accomplishments, and to some people they may be small, but to me they are huge. I look at them and I think, 'I can do all this but I can't lose weight!' What is wrong with me?! I have dealt with many arguments, financial issues, and lived through the roller coaster of marriage. I have spent 12 hours in labor and two of those were spent pushing out a 7lb 12 oz baby and I spent another 18 hours in labor only to end up being cut open during an emergency C-section! I have lived through the pain of losing a baby I waited so long to have. I have spent the last 3 years doing homework on a daily basis, 2 years of which I did while working a full time job and maintaining a family.

Yet, I can't lose weight.

Well, today is the start of something new. Something amazing, challenging, motivating, inspiring, and just plain fucking awesome! Something I am doing for me. I'm making the commitment to myself to show my inner doubtful self that I CAN do this and after everything I have accomplished, weight loss will soon be a part of my list of things that I have conquered. I have lived through hell and back during some of the worst times of my life; depression, pain, sorrow, and regret. But today I win. I win because I know I can make myself healthier, happier, and even more accomplished.